... and you know you've fought really hard - to avoid getting in way over your head in something you knew you wouldn't want to get out of - and you fought in vain...
It's like...
It's like a drug; like a gateway drug that you start off having just at parties, just for a bit of fun.
And then you begin to notice that it helps you get through the harder moments in life... without doing much - just by being in your system.
Then it becomes a part of your everyday life. That one thing that just makes your day feel complete.
And then you get hit in the head and left for dead because you owed someone some cash and you were just too weak and doped up to fight back.
But I haven't been hit on the head just yet, now, have I? There are just a few scrapes and bruises here and there... Self inflicted, all of them... But that doesn't count. It's not enough. I need that sobering pain that comes with being left for dead in some ditch. Then I'll come to my senses.
Then I'll be okay.
Hit me. Hit me hard, like I owe your boss some money.
Only then can you leave.
Only then can I live.
Take care of yourselves.
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